So, as noted in my “Is it November Yet?” entry, there was a good possibility that some of my woes would be null and void in that magic month. This, alas, did not happen. The long story shortened is that my pretentious, suddenly yogatasmic roommate, Stacey, was going to run away to another state to be a yoga instructor at a soon-to-be-built studio. Regardless of instruction, talent, clientele, practice, and experience, he sincerely thought he was going to get in the door there. I had my doubts about someone so green getting into an established branded studio and being a full time instructor, but as I am ignorant of the ways instructors are inducted, I said nothing.
November came and went, and it was revealed that the construction of the yoga studio wouldn’t be completed. I told our apartment manager that I may not need a one bedroom just yet. December came and the story was the same. By then, there was no point trying to transfer, so I decided to stay in the two bedroom until the end of our lease in January.
In that time, the long term manager of our apartment complex left her post abruptly. The one bedroom I was going to move into with my boyfriend was snatched out from under me because, though I turned in my 60 day notice, my roommate didn’t. In addition to that, when my boyfriend put in an application, he had to do so without my information on there, and his income is below the desired amount. The old apartment manager said she would handle it, but the new one had to obey the rules.
After about 5 visits, several texts, a talk, and a session where I was cussing horribly every day, I got Stacey to sign my resignation and handed it in. By that time, apartment #1 was gone. Great. However, there was another one opening, so I applied for that one. Adding horror to this, the people in apartment #1 rescinded their resignation. The people who were going to get that one are ass out, because I have signed everything for apartment #2. Sucks, but I have been here for several years and that loyalty won out.
The talk with Stacey didn’t go so well. Apparently, the studio is being built with one less room, meaning half the sessions, half the instructors, and less than half the opportunity for Stacey to get in, being as new as he was. There is another studio being built not too far away, but Stacey wants to ditch his car…in the interest of (partial) anonymity, I don’t want to reveal the to and from states, but let’s just say that the difference in climate, transportation, and seasons is insurmountable.
Stacey has never been without a car, has never been in anything considered “real” weather and is totally unfamiliar with public transportation. I am pessimistic as to his abilities to cope. For those who have not experienced it, try doing a weekly shopping for groceries on the bus or on a bike. Then add rain, snow, and wind—things Stacey is NOT used to being out in. Or even seeing. Good luck, kupo.
Reluctantly, Stacey has decided to stay put. But, I’m outta here at the end of January. I’m moving into a one bedroom with my boyfriend. Can you imagine? A place where I can be free—where I can sit in my own front room and watch TV or play my goddamned PS3 without fear that I will hear the worst sound in the world, worse by far than the cries of a baby, nails on a chalkboard, or the sound of a live Taylor Swift song—the sound of Stacey’s key in the front-fucking-door.
That’s when the heartstrings began waking up, jangling, and tuning themselves. I felt so bad for Stacey—his ostentatious showboating, his plans, his reaching for a new life (forgetting that the old one would follow him), his hopes…they lay in tatters around him. Adding to that, he will have no roommate in less than two months. He doesn’t make friends easily, and of the three he has, two are in the state he planned to go to, and the third is violently allergic to his cat, KOS-MOS (no, that’s not her name, but she was named after a video game character, so I substituted). He looked at me with Puss in Boots eyes, and I felt bad for him.
Friends and neighbors, I am here to tell you that I actually thought, “Well, I…I mean…I guess I could…if he needed it…” Then my mind shut that sympathetic thought right the hell down. Shut it down like a rat-infested hooker’s cootch parading around on church grounds. Be miserable for another year? Not enjoy my lovely TV or PS3? Feel uncomfortable in my own home? For another year?! Fuck. Off. Troglodyte.
My friends tell me simply that Stacey has gotten himself into this situation. They remind me that Stacey has tried to ditch out on our lease three or four times in our period as roommates. I can’t fault him for wanting to pursue his newest dream, for reaching forward to something better. I applaud his brave gesture, his guts, and his tenacity.
However, Stacey did the things anyone from Aesop to Confucius to the dumbest person you know would have warned him against: he put all his eggs in one basket, burned his bridges, and ran full force forward. I can’t pick him up again and again, especially when I gave him five months of warning that, regardless of his actions, I was going on my way. I haven’t needed him as a roommate for two or three years now, probably longer, and I’m done compromising my life to help him. I also believe that familiarity breeds contempt and I hope our friendship can strengthen when we are no longer living together. He has no place to go yet, but I know he’s looking, and though I feel for him, I won’t continue to be his crutch. I felt bad and considered lending my helping hand, but…
…but then he continued to soil our comradeship. To further sour the notes of my heartstrings’ harmonizing, Stacey has been the most annoying of roommates in this past week—leaving his laundry in the washer and/or dryer and going to work, frequently bringing over some guy with the timbre and vocal resonance of an air raid siren, watching movies loudly, caterwauling into the midnight hours, leaving the kitchen a mess, sprinkling and leaving copious amounts of carpet deodorizer so that when I get home the smell rapes my nostrils, and otherwise requesting a beating every moment he is in this apartment.
Enjoy your ashy bridges, ass-hat.