Mercury Retrograde Aftermath

For those who don’t know: Mercury Retrograde is a period of three weeks where the planet Mercury appears to be in backwards motion. This happens about three times a year. Astrologically speaking, it’s a great deal more. And it's horrible. If Mercury showed up like this, everyone might not be so pissed off.

During this time, we experience much hideousness.  Technology seems to go to hell, communications are difficult, misunderstandings are common, tempers flare, bitches from the past spring into the present, things begun tend to fail spectacularly, travels are difficult, and odd coincidences abound.

No, these things do not only happen at this time, but Mercury retrograde seems to have way more than its fair share. Cars break down, windshields get shattered, exes come around, people you haven’t seen in ages appear out of nowhere, computers crap out, that already annoying coworker seems to be on his/her raging period for three weeks, someone you start dating during this period becomes a bitch-face and the dating ends, you can’t seem to form a sentence, etc. You should never start anything during this period, sign any contracts, go anywhere, or have any communication at all with anyone in the world.


Sure, it’s a lot of superstition, or astrology, or Wicca, or crazy talk, or ancient fuckery, but it’s the one tenant I can’t get rid of, the one superstition I can’t shake off, the one I seem to get confirmation of every damned time, and the time I hate more than all others.

This last one, ranging from June 26th to July 20th seemed to produce all these things. From the aforementioned coworker, to huge misunderstandings with the editor, to short tempers, to a random, unknowing friendship which struck up between me and my ex-roommate’s current roommate (without either of us originally knowing the connection we had). An old friend of mine looked me  up, appeared, decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend, and thereafter decided he had to stop talking to any males he might be attracted  to (*raising my hand and waving goodbye with one finger.*), a friend’s car collapsed, my work computer crapped out on me, I ran into another old friend I hadn’t talked to in about a year, etc., etc.

Mercury retrograde bitch

Since time seems to be going backward, it’s supposedly a good period to reconcile with the past, to pick up old projects, to do all that nonsense. It’s generally good advice, and if you think the heavens are aiding you, all the better.

Think back. Have the last few weeks been a pain in the ass? Coincidence? Very likely. But what if? Yeah, this all could happen at any time…but all this and more…in three weeks? Piss off.

Though it’s far in the future, Mercury goes retrograde again from October 21st to November 10th. You've been warned.